Stupid Martial Arts Accidents / Embarrassing Moments Part I

This section taken from the responses on the rec.martial-arts newsgroup. No posts have been changed other than to make them anonymous.

When I was about 12 I threw a guy in judo randori and his pants came right off as he when over my shoulder.. I went right into matwork and couldn't figure out why everyone was laughing. Until I looked up, or down, or I guess it was sideways. I gave a little yelp which brought the house down. I was about twice as embarassed as he was.
----------------------------------------Oh, there are soooo many.... But this time I'll just go with the time that I split my gi in front of the class. I tried to keep on doing the form so the tear just propagated... Mercifully the instructor allowed me to stop once the parents started smirking.
----------------------------------------Ever been in a demonstration? Most of my bad moments happened in demonstrations. Early in my training we were doing a demo for a cub scout group. We were only part of the evening's entertainment (I hate demos). We came on after the magician and before the "Boom-Bah" band. For those who do not live in Pennsylvania, a "Boom-Bah" is a kind of rhythm instrument invented by a demented musician on PCP as revenge against the uncaring music industry. It is a stick with tambourines, bells, and cymbols mounted on it, and it is played (mostly) by banging it against the ground. It is every bit as silly as it sounds. We were seated on the floor, and there were about 30 of these monstrosities leaning against the wall behind us. (You are there already, aren't you?)Right. I demonstrated a form, (nicely, I might add), bowed to the crowd, returned to my seat, and in sitting down I lost my balance, knocking over all of the Boom-Bahs. I believe that the noise registered on seismographs all around the world. Truly one of my very best days.
----------------------------------------Ah, so many to choose from. Here's one that was not only embarrassing, but quite frightening as it happened. . .

A friend and I assisted our Sensei with several demonstrations, and we had worked out a choreographed "fight" between Bo and Tonfa. I had the Bo. For a demonstration at a public school, my Sensei gave me his special competition Bo (I forget why). Shortly after we began the demo, my friend struck a particularly strong blow with the Tonfa, and snapped my Bo in half.

Uh-oh.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Sensei: he did *not* look happy. The other demonstrators stood there with their mouths hanging open. This was the frightening part, in case you're wondering. The kids watching the demo loved it, of course.

My friend and I had practised this routine endlessly, and managed to continue, making it look like this was *meant* to happen. I had to improvise a bit, of course, but it was working out great. Until I blocked another strike that snapped the end off one of my mini-Bo's and sent it flying across the gymnasium. It bounced off the wall beside Sensei.

Uuuh-oh.

We pressed on. A few moments later . . . another piece of Bo flew across the room. Yep, it was from the other half. Luckily, we were near the end of the routine, so I took my friend to the floor and finished him off by pummeling him with my remaining pieces of firewood.

I'm so glad that I study a traditional Japanese karate. By bowing really, really low, I didn't have to look Sensei in the eye as I passed him the sorry remains of his lovely former-Bo. . .

And then there's the other demonstration in a public shopping mall, when I hooked my friend's tonfa out of his hand and sent it sailing across the Food Court and straight towards the glass case of coffee beans in The Second Cup . . . but that's another story.
----------------------------------------I was demonstrating kendo kata for a chinese cultural association a few years ago. We were using steel swords. My partner moved into waki-gamae, which is the position with the sword held low and behind you. We were in very tight quarters, so as a result he stuck the point of the sword into the wall behind him. There was this slightly puzzled look on his face, then a visible effort as he yanked the sword out of the wall to continue the kata.
----------------------------------------Doing a staff form in a Chinatown demo several years ago, I slammed the staff down and watched half of it sail up and over my head and clatter to the ground somewhere behind me. Flustered and adrenalized, I reached out and took another staff from a student, whacking him in the face with the staff as I turned back to the audience. I was so psyched, I didn't notice as he retreated behind the curtain to find out if his nose was broken.
----------------------------------------When I was practicing Kendo, we used to have fights at the end of the class. Being in the south of France in summer, you can imagine how much we were sweating under the Men (helmet in Kendo). I too was sweating pretty hard, and some was running down my nose. .. Of course, no way I could take the men off, wipe my face and put it back on... so I slipt my lil finger through the grid and started scratching my face as much as I could... boy, what a relieve... That's when the sensei called me to fight... Problem was, by then, my finger was stuck in the grid, so here I am, in the center of the mat, one hand holding the shinai in a desperate guard, shaking frenetically the other hand to get this finger unstuck.... The other guy did not show one ounce of patience and of course *charged*, I got wacked on the head a couple of time and trust me, I managed to get this damm finger out of the helmet really fast after that...almost broke it actually, and was really embarassed when the laughters in the dojo started to cover the sound of our Kiais...
----------------------------------------When I tested for sankyu. I was asked to demonstrate hani-goshi, and executed a perfect throw tossing my uke right into the center of the aluminum table being used by the judges and completely demolishing it.

Their response: "Good technique. Poor control." :-)
----------------------------------------I remember when I was sparing with a friend of mine I suddenly did a knife hand block right out of a form without even thinking. I was so pleased with my self (or suprised or something) that I just kind of stood there and grinned and then ate fist. I would have found it funnier at the time if it didn't hurt so much
----------------------------------------Working on elbow strikes on a heavy bag, I almost knocked myself out with the palm of my hand. The worst part wasn't the pain... it was explaining the busted lip to friends.
----------------------------------------Do they do "Cup Checks"? I had a few students who didn't wear a cup, thinking it was "cool". Needless to say, after scoop-kicking everyone in the class, they decided "cool" ranked somewhere below breathing normally.
----------------------------------------At one of my first tournaments I was really pumped about sparring. Got into the ring, head judge said to begin, I charged in with a beautiful side kick to the head. Unfortunately I put a little too much into it and instead lifted my entire body off of the ground, landing clean on my left hip and sliding into my opponent, knocking us both into the head judge and knocking him over as well. Needless to say I got a stern warning about fighting under control.
----------------------------------------About a year after receiving my Black belt, I was preparing to perform Kata in a tournament. When my name was called by the head judge, I turned around, adjusted my uniform, and ran across the gymnasium to stand and give my presentation of the kata. While running, I realized that I had not tied my gi pants tight enough and as I neared the judges, they began to slowly work their way down my hips. By the time I reached the head judge, I was forced to request a moment for adjustment of my uniform as the pants had fallen down to about mid-thigh. Thankfully, a fellow Black Belt came out to hold my top up while I retied the pants. I didn't score too well on the kata due to the judges' eyes being shut while stifling their laughter. I did redeem myself later in the day, however, by winning the Kumite Grand Championship.
----------------------------------------In one of my testings, a couple of my classmates were doing one-step sparring techniques. One of them accidently (I think) kicked the other soundly in the groin with a snap kick. The poor fellow just stood up, put his hand up, turned around, then COLLAPSED. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen because of the timing...
----------------------------------------About after a week at the school I train at now, I did some light sparring with another student, a beginner as well though he'd been there longer than I. We're going along fine, doing basic techniques. I see him chamber a rear-leg roundhouse...and for some strange reason, I think he's going for my head, not realizing he doesn't have the flexibility. So, I ducked...right into the kick, effectively blocking it with my face. Luckily it was light sparring, and all I did was get my lips busted. Dopey me.
----------------------------------------This happened about a month ago - we had a class which consisted solely of three black belts and the Instructor. We were lined up so that we took turns wheel-kicking a pad held by the Instructor. I was at the back of the line, and the guy in front of me was doing a half-speed low wheel-kick in the line to try to perfect his technique before he kicked the pad. He was concentrating so hard that he didn't see where his foot was headed, and kicked the (female) student in front of him squarely in the butt. I was laughing so hard, I had to pretend to turn around and adjust my uniform - fortunately when I turned back, the Instructor (and the other two students) were cracking up too; he said it was a really good thing there were no yellow belts there that day to witness it.
----------------------------------------I had two brothers (8 and 9 years old) sparring in class, with everyone else sitting around the ring. The younger one threw a roundhouse kick to the groin, and we all heard this incredibly loud POP! that echoed in the room. Broke his own brothers cup. My eyes still water thinking about it.

[Ed. note: OW!]
----------------------------------------In a pattern competition, ~2 years ago, I mannaged to punch myself 5 cm abowe my right eye. How this happened - well It's not always easy to do a upward elbow strike- when your focused on something completly different :) Well, I managed to finish ..... Last!
----------------------------------------I remember once in practice a particularily lanky fellow managed to kick himself in the groin. I still haven't figureed out what happened, I was looked away for a second and then he was on the floor. I imagine that he threw a knee and his heel went a little high. I think he was more embarassed than anything else.
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Stupid Martial Arts Accidents / Embarrassing Moments Part II

"Martial Arts Humor"