You Know You're Hooked on Karate When...

By De Stewart

Do you wake up Saturday mornings stiff and sore? Is another night like Friday night the only thing that will make you feel better? Do you workout alone? Do you find that once you've thrown a jab, you can't stop until you've followed it with a reverse punch? If so, you may be (gasp!!) HOOKED ON KARATE. How do you know? Here are a few clues.
1. You know you're hooked when the first word out of your parrot's mouth is KIAI!, and you teach your cat how to free spar.

2. You know you're hooked when you have more bruises than a roller derby queen, and you still go back for more.

3. You know you're hooked when you shut the refrigerator door with a side thrust kick.

4. You know you're hooked when you shop for clothes based on whether you can kick in them.

5. You know you're hooked when the only clothes you'll wear are gis.

6. You know you're hooked when you actually crave a beach workout.

7. You know you're hooked when the books on your night stand are by authors like Gichin Funakoshi, Hirokazu Kanazawa and Musashi Miyamoto.

8. You know you're hooked when the Twelve Days of Christmas becomes: one boxing bag, two boxing gloves, three shin pads (includes an extra pad for the one you'll inevitably lose), four Tokaido gi's, five rolls of adhesive tape....twelve cases of Tiger Balm.

9. You know you're hooked when you look for a place to live based on the amount of practice space it provides.

10. You know you're hooked when you refuse to wear shoes.

Well, how did you score? Does any of these situations sound familiar? If so, it's hopeless - you're hooked. The only option now is to join CKA, Compulsive Karatekas Anonymous. Don't fret though. I'm sure you'll find plenty of familiar faces. See you there.

"Martial Arts Humor"

You Might Be a Martial Artist If...

- You find yourself casually standing in a half cat stance.

- You trip, go into a roll and come up in a fighting stance. In church.

- You answer your boss Ussss.

- You put your hands together in a martial arts bow position (one hand open the other closed) after grace at the dinner table.

- You tie your bathrobe belt in a square knot. Then check to make sure the ends are exactly even.

- You accept change from the cashier using a perfect knife hand with the thumb carefully tucked in.

- Every time you handle a screwdriver or razor knife, etc. You just can't help changing grip from hammer to reverse to flip over to dagger grip etc. And your shop help is standing cautiously far, far away from you.

- When you're outside doing landscaping/gardening you "practice" with all the neat weapons.

"Martial Arts Humor"

The Zen Pizzeria

A simple and hungry Zen monk walks into a busy pizza restaurant and places his order: "Make me one with everything."

"Martial Arts Humor"